


Won't Make Believe That Love Is Frail and Willing to Break

by sullenhearts



Category: God's Own Country (2017)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-16
Updated: 2017-12-16
Packaged: 2019-02-15 14:48:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13033434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sullenhearts/pseuds/sullenhearts
Summary: Johnny and Gheorghe go to Romania for Christmas. Fluffy as hell.





	Won't Make Believe That Love Is Frail and Willing to Break

**Author's Note:**

  * For [misswhimsy](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=misswhimsy), [andshewas](https://archiveofourown.org/users/andshewas/gifts).



> I don't know if there's canon on what Gheorghe's family are called, so if there is I apologise because I just made them up here.
> 
> A present for my best friends. Merry Christmas xxxxx

Romania is freezing. That’s the first thing that hits Johnny in the face as he steps off the plane. It is _cold_. He follows Gheorghe quickly into the terminal and up an escalator to customs. Gheorghe goes through first. The border guard barely glances at his passport, just passes it back under the glass. Johnny steps up next. The guard opens the passport, reads the name, flicks his eyes up to Johnny, pauses. John forces himself to keep his face still, wills the guard to pass the passport back. The guard flicks his eyes to Gheorghe, who is waiting five feet away, watching the two of them, energy concealed waiting to spring if Johnny needs it. Then the guard raises his eyebrows, looks away from both of them, and slides the passport back to Johnny.

“Thank Christ,” he breathes as he catches up to Gheorghe. “I was waiting for them to turn me away.”

“I don’t think they can actually do that,” Gheorghe says. “I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t have.”

“It’s cold, int it?”

“I warned you.” Gheorghe flashes a smile. 

They head through to baggage claim and wait for their case, a scuffed black thing that they had to mend with duct tape. Johnny hauls it off the carousel and they make their way through to arrivals. 

Gheorghe’s sister is leaning on a pillar, her eyes scanning everyone coming through. There are hundreds of people coming from all over Europe, with it being Christmas and everything. Gheorghe is almost next to his sister before she sees him.

She throws her arms round him and Gheorghe’s face splits into a huge grin, his arms round her too. They chatter to each other in quick Romanian. Johnny catches the odd word or two, but nowhere near all of it. He just watches them, smiling a bit, until Gheorghe turns to him and says, “This is Sorina.”

She smiles. She looks likes Gheorghe around the eyes, more like him than she looked on Skype. She hugs Johnny and then kisses him once on each cheek. Johnny feels colour rise in his cheeks. The only person who’s kissed him in years is Gheorghe, who is smirking at him from behind Sorina. 

“It’s nice to meet you,” Johnny says, trying to remember to dampen his accent so she’ll understand him. 

“It is so lovely to meet you finally,” she says. She hugs him again. “Let me take your little case.” 

Johnny hands her his hand luggage and trips after Sorina and Gheorghe. They keep chatting all the way out to the car, a maroon 4x4. Johnny slides into the back seat, feeling suddenly bone tired. He turns his phone on, waits for it to register the new network. He’ll need to text his grandmother, even if she’s probably already tucked up in bed. It’s getting late. Johnny watches the airport as they leave. There is slushy snow in the streets, kicking up spray against the car. Johnny leans his head on the glass of the window and watches the streets flash by. He sends a text and then an email too, including a Christmas message for Gran and Dad. It feels weird to not be at home for Christmas. He’s spent his entire life spending Christmas at the farm, looking out at silent hills where even the animals seem to realise something is different. 

It’ll be weird and different to be here with Gheorghe’s family, but that doesn’t mean it’ll be _wrong_. Just different. It’s their second Christmas together and Gheorghe hasn’t been home in more than five years. When Johnny said he was sorry about that Gheorghe shrugged and said, “It’s expensive to go home. They always needed the money more than they needed me there.” Johnny didn’t agree with this in the slightest but when Gheorghe had said he might like to go to Romania for Christmas he’d agreed instantly. It was something concrete Gheorghe asked for and that he could do. He spends a lot of time feeling utterly inadequate in their relationship, feeling like he’s got nothing to offer someone like Gheorghe, so really, it’s the least he could do.

And now they’re here, on Christmas Eve, having left Yorkshire in the morning for Manchester airport. They can only afford three nights away from the farm; not ideal but better than nothing. It’s cold, and so far Johnny hasn’t seen much of it, but he can see the smile lighting up Gheorghe’s face and that’s good enough. 

The buildings get sparser as they leave town, and soon they’re driving on pitch black roads. There are a few houses dotted here and there, a couple of villages that are nothing to write home about. It’s about an hour later when Sorina slows the car on the outer reaches of a village and pulls into their farm. 

When they get out of the car, there’s a welcome committee at the door in the shape of Gheorghe’s nephew Marius, who’s nine. He’s in Christmas pyjamas and huge boots; the snow is deeper here. Gheorghe runs to him and scoops him up, swinging him round. Marius shrieks with laughter and Gheorghe tickles him when he puts him down. 

“This is Marius,” Gheorghe says to Johnny proudly. “I thought for sure he would be in bed.”

“He was waiting up for you,” Sorina says fondly. 

“Hello,” Johnny says to the kid. He’s not used to children. 

This one smiles a bit though, and very seriously and carefully says, “Hello” in return. Johnny smiles back and follows everyone inside.

He’s not sure what he was expecting the farmhouse to look like inside, but it wasn’t this. Everything is wood panelled. They go from the porch straight into a living room. It has a huge fireplace at one end, with a couple of squishy sofas around it. At the other end is a dining table, scuffed like Johnny’s own one is, and more chairs. There’s a tiny sofa in an alcove window. And between the dining table and the sofas is a huge Christmas tree. A bare, real fir Christmas tree. It smells amazing.  
“Oh!” Gheorghe exclaims, stopping to look at the tree. He looks at his sister, confused, then turns to Johnny. “We always decorate the tree on Christmas Eve. I thought it would already be done!”

Sorina smiles. “We were waiting for you.”

Gheorghe says thank you to her, a word Johnny does know, one he hears tripping out of Gheorghe’s mouth a hundred times a day, one which he himself says too, although he feels self-conscious when he does, feeling like the word sounds totally wrong in his mouth. 

A woman comes through the door to the left of the fireplace. Gheorghe’s mother, Anamaria. She’s ill, she’s got cancer and although her doctors are pretty optimistic about things, she’s obviously pretty exhausted from treatment and it shows on her face. Johnny’s seen her on Skype over the past year and a bit (ever since Gheorghe insisted on having some broadband installed at the farm) and even he can tell the difference.

“Mama,” Gheorghe says, and goes over to her to put his arms around her. Johnny almost can’t watch for the pain he feels thudding in his chest. If it wasn’t for him, wouldn’t Gheorghe be here, where his should be, with his ill mother? 

Anamaria doesn’t let go of Gheorghe’s arm when she comes over to greet Johnny. She hugs him gently. “I’m so glad you’re here.”

Johnny swallows tears. “I’m so glad to be here.” Gheorghe touches his arm and smiles a soft smile. 

Then Marius says something, tugging his uncle over to the tree and a box of baubles sitting near it. Johnny accepts an offered drink and is pleased when it turns out to be some warm, spicy kind of cider. He sits down at the dining table, touching its scarred surface. Anamaria sits on his right, closer to the tree, but close enough to be companionable. Sorina and Marius and Gheorghe pull out baubles and start to decorate the three, chatting nonstop. Johnny watches them, sips his drink, and starts to feel like everything is just lovely.

When the tree is done Sorina dims the lights in the room, showing off the candles on the tree. Gheorghe pulls Johnny to his feet and hugs him in and hugs Anamaria in on his other side and everyone just sort of gazes at the tree. It is beautiful and the smell is amazing. When Johnny was little they always had a real tree and the scent trips those memories. Him and Dad going out to buy one, always choosing one that was really way too big for the living room. He can’t remember why they stopped having a real one. He squeezes Gheorghe’s side. 

Then Sorina starts singing, her voice low and sweet in the half light. Everyone else joins in and even though Johnny doesn’t recognise the tune or understand the words he still understands the sentiment behind them. He gives Gheorghe a small grin and feels warmth spreading through his body.

Everyone heads to bed not too soon after the tree is decorated. There are two bedrooms downstairs, Anamaria’s and Marius’. Sorina is sharing Marius’ bedroom with him, giving up her tiny room in the attic for them. Johnny heads up there, crouching a bit under the wooden eaves. The bed has soft, clean bedding on it, Johnny sits down and rubs it softly before undoing his boots and putting them carefully under the edge of the bed. 

“Alright?” Gheorghe asks when he comes in. 

“Yeah, yeah. You?”

“I’m good.” He’s better than good, it’s written all over his face. They need to come here again. Or get Gheorghe’s family over to England. “Are you cold?”

“Yes.”

Gheorghe brandishes a hot water bottle and lifts the duvet to slip it into the bed. “Keep your socks on.”

They each get undressed, silent in the tiny room, and head downstairs to the bathroom. It’s in the back hallway, next to the bedrooms. There’s a separate loo and then a tiny sink and bath, the paper peeling at the edges around the fixtures. It’s a lot like home. Maybe that’s why Gheorghe just slotted in to life in Yorkshire. 

In the hallway between the two rooms there’s a poster stuck on the wall showing different breeds of sheep. Johnny stays and looks at it for a while, identifying his own ones. Then he goes to brush his teeth. 

Gheorghe appears behind him a couple of minutes later. He plucks the toothpaste out of Johnny’s hand and then bumps hips with him when he leans over the sink. Johnny smiles at him in the mirror and then kisses his cheek with sharply freshened breath. 

Then he hurries upstairs to the bedroom and slips under the sheets, his feet searching for the hot water bottle.

Gheorghe gets back to the room and gets into bed too, sliding over to Johnny’s side. The house is silent, although there’s quite a bit of wind rattling through the eaves. 

“You okay?” Gheorghe asks again, like he didn’t already ask ten minutes ago, like Johnny’s state of being can have changed much in that time. But it’s more than that, of course it is. He’s worried Johnny isn’t happy about being here, or resentful at having to leave his own family, or anything, but he isn’t, he isn’t, he’s fine, he’s better than fine. He answers Gheorghe with a kiss, a slide of his thigh over Gheorghe’s, fingers dipping into Gheorghe’s waistband. 

Yeah. As Christmases go, it’ll do.

*

When Johnny wakes up the next morning he is alone in the bed and the world is silently white in that way that Johnny knows means it has snowed. He’s dying for a piss so he hops downstairs wearing just his boxers and Gheorghe’s shirt, hoping he won’t run into anyone. He doesn’t, although he can hear voices in the next rooms. He goes back upstairs to get dressed, pulling on his thickest socks and a thermal t shirt under his (Gheorghe’s, alright) shirt. It is really cold here. 

Everyone is sitting around the dining table; five heads look up at him. Marius’ dad has arrived overnight and he stands up to greet Johnny. He’s huge – tall and broad with a big beard. Johnny’s been warned he doesn’t speak English so he’s not entirely surprised when Alexandru just motions to himself and says his name.

“Johnny,” Johnny says, shaking the outstretched hand. Then he says very carefully, desperately trying to not forget the words, “Thank you for having me,” in Romanian.

“A native speaker!” Sorina says, delighted. 

“Not quite,” Johnny says, ducking his head. “Thanks though.”

“Coffee?” Gheorghe offers from his seat at the head of the table between his mother and Sorina. “Or something stronger?”

“Always in the mood for something stronger,” Johnny says, going over to stand next to Gheorghe’s chair. “Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas,” Gheorghe says, standing up to hug him and kiss his cheek. 

“Merry Christmas,” Sorina says, and she kisses him too, and then Marius and Anamaria both say it too, smiling. 

It’s not much of a tradition that everyone says Merry Christmas but it is something that always happens in Johnny’s family and it makes him smile. Alexandru comes over with a small glass which Johnny takes. It tastes like some kind of caramel liqueur. It’s nice. The dining table is laden with plates of cheese and cured meats. Sorina moves up to make room for Johnny and hands him a plate. They’ve obviously all been waiting for him because there’s a flurry of activity as everyone passes plates over and they chat happily as they eat. Outside, it is still snowing, Johnny can see that there’s lots of fresh snow covering what was there last night. It’s so pretty, but he’s glad he hasn’t got anywhere to go. 

After breakfast they exchange presents, just a few bits for everyone but Marius is happy with the Lego set that Gheorghe chose for him and Sorina is so thrilled with her presents that she starts to cry. Anamaria goes to lie down around midday and Sorina goes into the kitchen.

Johnny follows her. “Can I help?”

“Yes, of course.” She hands him some carrots and potatoes and he starts to peel them into the bowl she hands over too. The kitchen is tiny, just a row of cabinets along the back wall and a door at one end which must lead outside. 

“How are you liking it so far?” Sorina asks.

“It’s great.” Johnny nods. “It’s nice being here. Cosy, you know. It’s cosy.”

She laughs. “Thank you. Yes, I think so too.”

“What are we doing with these potatoes?” Johnny asks when he’s nearly at the end of all the vegetables. 

“Baking them in oil and salt.”

Johnny nods. “Roast spuds, same as our Christmas.”

“That’s what you call them?”

“Yep, they’re delish. We roast everything at Christmas. Parsnips, carrots…”

“The carrots too?” Sorina looks at them. “Let’s do that.”

“Oh, you don’t have to do that.”

“I know. I know! But I want to. Let’s do it.”

Johnny laughs and lets her take the peeled carrots to set them in a tin next to the potatoes. When everything’s set up, they go back into the living room. Johnny takes more of the liqueur and sits down next to Gheorghe. 

“Alright?”

“Alright,” Johnny says. “Are you?”

“I’m good.” Gheorghe slips his arm around Johnny and pulls him in for a kiss. 

Gheorghe helps his sister bring everything through from the kitchen. The table is loaded. The main dish is pork chops, tender and succulent and baked in paprika. They’re delicious. Johnny takes some wine and eats until he feels fit to burst. 

The evening is setting in when Gheorghe nudges Johnny, who is kind of dozing in front of the fire. “Time for your coat and boots, love.”

“We going out?”

“Outside, yes.” 

Johnny takes offered boots and a coat. Gheorghe wraps his own scarf round Johnny’s neck, smiling as he does. 

“Where are we going?” Johnny asks, but no one tells him, so he just zips up the jacket and follows everyone else outside. 

All six of them leave the small yard in front of the farm and turn right, down towards the village. There are lights down there that Johnny can see, and as they draw closer he can see more people around too, walking towards a big tree that stands in the middle of the village. The tree is decorated with strings of lights and there’s a bonfire next to it. There’s the sound of singing, a low noise that swells as more people join it. There are kids dashing everywhere, on new bikes, tramping through the snow, throwing snowballs at each other. A lady with a big wooden tray comes over and offers drinks from it. 

“Schnapps,” she says, barely breaking off from her singing. 

Johnny takes one and sips it. It’s really nice, vaguely apple flavoured. Gheorghe reaches for his hand and Johnny smiles at him and moves into him, even though there’s about a million layers between them. He leans over and kisses Gheorghe’s cheek.

“Merry happy Christmas,” Gheorghe says, and turns to kiss him properly. 

“Merry happy Christmas to you, too.” 

He likes this kind of community coming together, even though he’s never seen anything quite like it. The singing carries on and someone hands out mini apple pastries, and someone presses another cup into Johnny’s hand, and Gheorghe goes back to the house to get a chair for Anamaria and comes back with that and the bottle of caramel liqueur, which he shares with everyone standing around them. Tons of people shake Gheorghe’s hand and speak to him with wide smiles.

“Everyone is just happy to see me,” he says. 

“Course they are. Glad you’re back in the home country eh?”

“What does that mean?”

“Nothing. Nothing.”

“Johnny…”

“They wish you were here full time.”

“Maybe.” Gheorghe shrugs. 

“You wish you were here full time.”

“No.”

“You do.” Johnny knows he’s pushing it, but he can’t help it, it’s like probing at a sore tooth with your tongue. “Specially with your mum and everything…”

Gheorghe’s eyes slide to his mother. She’s sitting gazing into the fire, a soft smile on her face. She doesn’t notice them looking at her. 

“I only wish I was here if I could bring you with me,” Gheorghe says softly. “And if I could earn enough to live.”

“They miss you, though.”

“I miss them. I miss them all the time. But it isn’t so simple as you’d think. There’s you, for one thing.”

Johnny looks at Gheorghe, at his scruffy beard and soft eyes and stupid bloody jumper poking out the edges of his jacket, and wonders for only about the millionth time why someone like Gheorghe would end up with someone like him, but he’s really bloody glad he did. 

“You’ll have to get them to come over,” Johnny says, looking at the fire. “I know it’s tough, but…”

“I’ll try,” Gheorghe says, squeezing his hand. “I promise I’ll try.”

They don’t stay to the end of the singing. Anamaria is tired and wants to get back, and Marius is yawning wildly. Gheorghe picks up the chair and they all start to move off back up the hill, when a shout stops them.

A young woman comes running over, saying Gheorghe’s name. He stops, smiling a bit at her. 

“Natalia,” he says.

She says a few things to him, her eyes flicking to Johnny and back to Gheorghe. He nods to her, face serious, and then hugs her quickly. She walks away fast, not looking back at them.

“Who is she?” Johnny asks.

Gheorghe turns away from him and starts away up the hill, shaking his head. “No one.”

“Gheorghe.”

She didn’t look like no one. It’s not really in Johnny’s nature to be jealous but he feels the ache of it settle behind his heart. He looks back at the woman, but she’s melted into the crowd. He’s got no choice but to follow Gheorghe back up to the farm.

He drinks maybe a little bit too much for the rest of the night so by the time they go up to bed his head is spinning. He and Gheorghe settle in bed together, the lamp next to Johnny spilling light over the both of them. Johnny waits. 

“She was my girlfriend,” Gheorghe says, his fingers skittering gently over Johnny’s stomach. 

“Did you love her?”

“I thought I did. I thought I loved her very much.”

“What happened?”

“I’m gay is what! I knew it wasn’t right but I didn’t know why…”

“How old were you?”

“Nineteen.” Gheorghe pauses for a few seconds, his hand now smoothing soft circles on Johnny’s chest. “I did love her, in the way I could.”

“Yeah, I get that.” 

“She said it was good to see me.” He shrugs. “I invited her for coffee tomorrow.”

“Okay.” Johnny swallows the thing in his throat, still feeling the ache. 

“I can tell her no?” Gheorghe’s eyes flick to Johnny’s.

“Don’t be daft.”

“You don’t have to talk to her.”

“I’m not that rude.”

“She’s a nice person. We had a good time together. Good friends, you know? I miss her, I think.”

“That’s okay. You’re allowed to miss people.” 

“I love you, though.”

“I love you, too.” Johnny leans in and kisses him. “I never had a girlfriend.”

“You never had a boyfriend, either.”

“That’s true.” 

“Until me.”

“Until you,” Johnny agrees, and swallows again. It’s okay. They’re okay. 

“I’m where I want to be,” Gheorghe says softly. 

Johnny kisses him more deeply this time and then, five minutes later, reaches behind himself to turn the lamp off. 

*

The next morning after breakfast Alexandru has to head back to work, back to driving an HGV halfway across Europe and back. Johnny hangs back in the kitchen while everyone says goodbye to him. Boxing Day in Johnny’s house means leftover turkey and rubbish telly, and it somehow doesn’t seem quite fair that someone has to go back to work, even though he’d have been out himself at arse o’clock in the morning to make sure everything was alright. He messages his gran, gets a quick reply, wants to phone her but reassures himself that he’ll be home before he knows it. She’s fine, Dad’s fine, the farm is fine.

When Alexandru leaves Marius and Gheorghe end up playing outside, making a snowman from the fresh fall on the yard. Johnny stands next to the door watching them. He’s got his thick jacket and gloves on but he’s still shivering. 

“Are you cold?” Sorina asks. She is standing in the doorway with a cup in her hand, also togged up in a thick coat and hat and scarf. 

“It’s freezing,” Johnny says. “Is it always this cold?”

Sorina looks at the thermometer on the wall next to her. “Minus six.”

“Bloody cold.” He bangs his hands together and stamps his feet slightly. 

“It’s colder at yours,” Gheorghe says, coming close to them, breathing fast from rolling the big ball for the bottom of the snowman. 

“It’s really not,” Johnny says. “It’s never minus six.”

“It feels colder. It’s a wet cold. It gets in your bones and makes everything damp. Here it’s not like that.”

“No?” Johnny raises his eyebrows at him, amused. “What’s it like?”

“Here it’s drier cold. Cleaner cold.”

“It’s arctic,” Johnny says, “clean or not. It’s cold.”

“Shame,” Gheorghe says, and leans in to press his nose (also freezing, for the record) against Johnny’s. 

Johnny kisses him. “It’s beautiful,” he says. Then he winks. “View’s alright, too.”

Gheorghe laughs, that belly laugh that never fails to make Johnny laugh too. 

At lunchtime Sorina beams when she puts a plate with four cheeses down on the table. “Yours and ours!” she says to Johnny.

“Oh yeah? Have you tried ours yet?”

“Not yet!” 

“Best one wins?” Johnny says, hoping she picks up the joke in his tone.

“Yes! Blind test! Gheorghe plated them, so I don’t know which is ours.” She thinks for a second. “Losers have to do the washing up?”

“Deal,” Johnny says, and shakes her hand. 

When everyone sits down Gheorghe hands each person four round crackers, a bit like water biscuits, solemnly handing them over. Johnny fights a smile. It’s just cheese. Of course it’s not just cheese. It’s the honour of either Gheorghe’s natural family or his adopted one. Johnny takes the crackers and puts them carefully on his plate.

Gheorghe cuts the cheeses, making lots of small slices of each. Then he takes his sister’s plate and places cheese on each cracker. He says one word to her when he hands it back.

Next is Johnny’s plate. The word must’ve been “clockwise”, because that’s what he says to Johnny when he hands the plate back.

Johnny can tell that no one is taking this seriously except for Gheorghe and maybe Anamaria. She tastes her slices of cheese without the crackers, really tasting each one, her eyes closed as she does. Marius just munches the whole lot without really pausing, shrugging at his mother. Sorina and Johnny look at each other, and start at the twelve o’clock cracker.

They’re all good. Johnny does try to taste the difference. He can’t, though. Palate not refined enough, or something. One tastes nuttier than the others, but he’s not sure if that means anything. 

“They’re all delicious,” Sorina says when she’s finished hers. “I think my favourite is this one.” She points at the cheese at 9pm on the plate. 

“Is from Yorkshire,” Gheorghe says, pleased. 

“I like it,” Sorina says, and helps herself to more, then to the rest of the food spread across the table. 

“I like this one,” Johnny says, picking up the one at twelve o’clock. “It’s nuttier than the others?”

“Romanian sheep,” Gheorghe nods, and he’s so proud of himself. 

Johnny grins at him, then passes his plate back for more cheese. 

Natalia arrives at the farmhouse at about 4pm, just when the darkness is encroaching on the house and surrounding fields. She’s incredibly pretty when Johnny sees her properly. She smiles nervously at Johnny, but says hello to Sorina and Anamaria. 

“Hi,” she says to Johnny when she comes over, hustled to a seat by Gheorghe, who takes her jacket from her. 

“Hi,” he says back. He feels anxious, so when Sorina says she’s going to feed the sheep he stands up and says he’ll help her. He tugs on his boots and jacket and follows her outside into the snow again, and back up towards the barn. 

For a while, he and Sorina work in silence, in perfect harmony with each other, moving around the barn and the pens of sheep. These sheep are softer than Johnny’s. Probably less used to hardy, freezing hillsides, he thinks, and touches a small sheep gently. He’s not sure if sheep farms are the same the world over, or whether his own is just like this one, and whether that’s Gheorghe’s influence or what. 

He hefts an old tin bath up to fill it with cold water. 

“He loves you,” Sorina says softly. “You shouldn’t worry.”

“Hmmm?” Johnny feigns having not heard her, but really he’s a bit mortified that she’s noticed. 

“She’s no one to be afraid of. She’s not you.”

“No, I know…” Johnny frowns at the water splashing into the tub. 

“Okay,” Sorina says equably. “As long as you do know.”

Johnny turns off the tap, shuffles the bath back towards its resting spot. “Alright, I suppose I just don’t ever see him like he was with her… Last night…”

Sorina thinks about this and nods a little bit. “I’m not saying he doesn’t miss her. As a friend. They had a lot of fun together and they were always friendly even after that. And you know… I think it’s normal to retain a little bit of love for your first love. Don’t you?”

Johnny thinks back to his first. Can’t even remember a name, and the details of the body are a bit fuzzy. He’s never been in love, except with Cas and that was so unlikely to ever happen that it didn’t count. But he understand the emotions behind the words. He understands Gheorghe enough and he kind of gets Sorina standing up for him.

Christ, if only they’d all stop being so nice. He can’t be angry about it, no matter how much he wants to be. 

He nods at Sorina eventually. “Sorry.”

“No, I understand. I just want to reassure you.”

“Thank you.”

“He is very in love with you.”

Johnny laughs. “I’m very in love with him, too.”

Sorina’s face splits into a huge smile and she looks so much like her brother that Johnny goes over to hug her. 

Back in the house, Johnny touches Gheorghe’s shoulder on his way past, interrupting the chat but not meaning to. Natalia is sitting near him on the sofa, a cup of coffee in her hand. 

“I’m going to go in the bath,” Johnny says quietly. “See you later.”

Gheorghe shoots him a really grateful look. Johnny smiles softly back, and goes through to the bathroom.

“What did she say?” Johnny asks that night, pressed close to Gheorghe, who has been sort of tired and sad all evening. 

“Natalia? Lots of things. She was working in Spain for a few years, each summer.”

“Oh yeah?”

“She came back because her mother is poorly. Like mine, I guess. More so, though. She had no choice.”

“That’s sad.”

“It is. I’ve asked Natalia to let me know if anything bad happens.”

“Course.” 

“I told her about you. About us, about the farm. About Yorkshire. About your dad and Gran.”

Johnny laughs. “Thank you.”

“Any time.” Gheorghe kisses him softly. “I had already told her, you know. It’s not like it was a surprise that I showed up with a man.”

“Oh.” Johnny hadn’t understood this. “When?”

“When I broke up with her. She deserved to hear a reason why.”

“Yeah,” Johnny says. He watches Gheorghe’s face carefully. There’s still something Gheorghe isn’t telling him. He waits. 

Gheorghe breathes in carefully. 

“What?” Johnny says. “Tell me? You just seem sad.”

“I am sad. A little bit?”

“Because of Natalia?”

“No! What? No.”

“No?”

“No,” Gheorghe says, pulling Johnny’s hand to his mouth to kiss it. “Because we have to leave here.”

“Oh. Oh love.” Johnny slips his arms round Gheorghe’s shoulder. “I’m sorry.”

“I miss it.”

Johnny doesn’t say anything, because he can’t make it better. Instead, he just presses himself closer and hopes that helps. 

*

In the morning, the house is quiet. Anamaria is still asleep and Sorina and Marius have gone out to the supermarket which is open for the first time since before Christmas, to buy things for lunch before Johnny and Gheorghe have to leave for the airport. Johnny can’t believe it’s gone so quickly. He is sitting with Gheorghe on the small loveseat in the bay window. It’s gorgeous; outside the sun is shining and it reflects on the snow so much it looks like the snow is twinkling. Johnny can see down the road to nearby houses, decked out with Christmas decorations. 

“I like it here,” he says.

“I do too.” Gheorghe turns to look out of the window, his hand on Johnny’s knee. “I’d like to come back in the summer. We can hike up the mountains.”

“Alright. Next year.”

Gheorghe shakes his head. “It’s too expensive. The year after, maybe.”

“Maybe.”

“I’d like them to visit us. To meet your family. And the farm.”

“Yeah, Gran would love it.”

“She would.”

“Make them come,” Johnny says. “Next year, in the autumn or something when we all won’t be so busy.”

Gheorghe thinks about it, shaking his head up and down. “If they had something to come for…”

“Mmm? What are you thinking?” 

“A wedding? We could get married.”

Johnny’s heart skips a few beats. “What.”

“You heard me.” Gheorghe’s fingers find Johnny’s. 

“Gheorghe.”

Gheorghe says nothing, just rubs his thumb across the back of Johnny’s knuckles.

“Are you only asking because you want everyone to come over?” Johnny says, feeling that thought like a knife. 

“Fuck off,” Gheorghe says, but there’s no vehemence. 

“Just asking…”

“I’m asking because I want it. I want that very much, John. You and me, isn’t it?”

“Course.”

“So let’s get married. Let’s have a proper wedding.”

“Fuck.”

“You know, you’re not very good at this.”

Johnny stutters a laugh. “I’m sorry.” He leans his forehead into Gheorghe’s arm. “Alright.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t hear that,” Gheorghe says, being a dick about it.

Johnny looks up at him, aware there are tears in his eyes. “I said alright. I mean, yeah. Yes. Yes, let’s do that.”

“Thank you,” Gheorghe says, and leans forward for a kiss. Then he slips both arms round Johnny and Johnny has to force himself not to cry. 

They don’t mention it to anyone. 

“Can we just wait?” Johnny asks when Gheorghe’s family are all around, setting things up for lunch. “Can we get used to it first?”

“Of course,” Gheorghe says, squeezing him. “We can tell them whenever.”

They eat lunch, and then get their things from upstairs. 

“I will miss you so much,” Anamaria says, holding Gheorghe’s face in her hands. 

He says something to her, squeezing her in a huge hug. Marius is next. He says a careful goodbye to Johnny, and Johnny tells him it was a pleasure to meet him. They stand at the door waving until they’re just specks in the window.

Gheorghe and Sorina are both quiet on the way to the airport. The journey seems much shorter this time around, and so soon Sorina is pulling into the drop off zone in front. She hugs Johnny first, tearing up. 

“You’re so lovely,” she says. “He is very lucky.”

Johnny feels himself blush. “I’m lucky too.”

“Oh, yes. I will agree.” She turns to Gheorghe, letting her tears fall. 

He mumbles things to her, too, soft soothing things. They hold tight to each other for a long while. Finally Gheorghe pulls away, and kisses her cheek.

He and Gheorghe pick up their bags, sorting everything between them. All three of them start to say goodbye, Sorina turning back towards her car, when Gheorghe says,

“I asked him.”

“No!” Sorina says, pleased, pretending to be shocked. 

Johnny stares at them both, open-mouthed.

“He said yes,” Gheorghe says, beaming. 

“Of course he did,” Sorina laughs, and gets back in her car, waving her fingers as she moves away.

“You told her!” Johnny says, outraged.

“I’m sorry. I am. I wanted her to know.”

“That’s okay,” Johnny says. “I can’t wait to tell Gran the minute we get in.”


End file.
